remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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