have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Drake has all the answers
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
