He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
