I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
