you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
birth control should be required to get into college
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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