wakey wakey hands off snakey
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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