Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
