How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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