Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
