I wish I could teleport
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
