I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
