If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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