Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
