how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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