I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
