my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
