could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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