we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
