I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
