operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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