When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
