2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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