Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
