Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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