Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
