Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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