sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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