Swine flu is the new snow day.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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