She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i believe in u and ur pee
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize