I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
