Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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