she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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