Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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