no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
