I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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