i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
