On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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