I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
