For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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