i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
