omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
