I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
