i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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