dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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