Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
