I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
