I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
