Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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