Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
