Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
