I must be too annoying 4 u.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
