talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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