dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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